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THE BOLD THE EMPOWERED

  It was a bright day when i entered the studio of a news channel . There was still time left for the live discussion . We were waiting in guest room , the coordinator introduced me with the feminist who was a part of the discussion . All these feminists have this same arrogant look on their face. This woman was a part of a very reputed national political party which always talk about "Indian culture ".          I could notice that this woman was wearing  expensive designer clothes and was continuously talking about her love for such clothes. Iam a kind of person who doesn't think much about clothes and she was a typical woman who was brand conscious . Her clothes , make up , hair ,shoes were all perfect . She told me she has a hair dresser . I noticed her manicured hands when she was speaking with gestures with the use of her hands . Then i noticed mine who were dry because of washing clothes before coming to the studio.   In conversation i told the coordinator that i

They say boy's life is easy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpLOireVg4I      Look at this advertisement and see the tagline "such a boy thing " , "boys ki life maestro ki life easy ". Do they ever think before making such nonsense ? No they don't because this is what is spread everywhere . Boy's life easy , girl's life hard . When they show a woman driving driving scooty the tagline is " why should boys have all the fun" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_R5D4cPmC0  . What does it mean that men are having fun all the time and women have a hard time . Lets look at what an average man and woman do in India , how they grow up ?               A boy when he is in growing age is burdened with responsibilities . He has no other choice but to earn because there is a family who is dependent on him . On the other hand, a girl has a choice either to live as working woman or as homemaker in later on life . If she is a working woman then also she has a choice to leave the job any mom

SUICIDE - Privilege for men !!!!!

                                                http://www.deccanchronicle.com/131003/lifestyle- relationship/article/every-9-minutes-married-man-commits-suicide-india http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cT6n9D0PZY A country got independence , people were very happy . They were showing happiness in various ways .This man John was walking on road happily shaking his hands in air . Many people saw John walking like this , many got hurt by his hands . But nobody said anything as there was celebration going on . After few minutes a man who got hurt on his nose by John's hand caught John . John  looked surprisingly at this man and asked ," what is it , why are you holding my hand ."             The man who got hurt said ," Because my nose is hurt by your hands. " John replied ," so what we are free independent now and we are free to do whatever we want ." The other man said ," yes but your independence ends on my nose ." John got the message but

MP outreach program in Monsoon

                                          " अंधकार को क्यों धिक्कारें नन्हा सा इक दीप जलाएं  " Yes I know people are depressed because one more anti male law is passed . One question arises in my mind didn't we know that it will pass ? Why we had so many expectations from our so called law makers ? We all know how biased they are towards women and how the laws are passed in India .                                   But in all these chaos there are some very positive things happening around us , amazed, have a look with me . We all know that "Monsoon session " of parliament was crucial to us . So , like every session we planned an MP outreach program in this session too . It was raining heavily the day we started it . We were walking under umbrellas to "Ring the bell " of each MP house . We were welcomed at every house , listened carefully . Some of them were amazed that there is something called " MEN'S RIGHT " . I remember one P.A. of

जाने कितने सचिन

मैं जानती हूँ और मौतों की तरह  लोग यह मौत भी  भूल जायेंगे। भूल जायेंगे कि तुम कितने मजबूर थे की तुमको आत्महत्या करनी पड़ी. काफी बहाने ढूंढें जायेंगे तुम्हारी मौत के भी , तुम अवसाद में थे , तुम कायर थे लड़ नहीं सके।  मगर हम सब जानते हैं कितना मुश्किल है, तब लड़ना जब पूरा सिस्टम आपने खिलाफ हो।   कोई आपकी बात न सुने , कोई आपको न समझे , कुछ कुतर्क देकर आपको नकार दिया जाये। सब इस सिस्टम का सामना कर सके यह ज़रूरी तो नहीं। कुछ अतिसंवेदनशील भी होते हैं उनके लिए छोटी सी बात भी  बड़ा सबब बन जाती है, फिर उसपर कुछ भी तर्क आप दे लें बेकार है.                                                                   जब हम  मिथ्या आरोपों का सामना करते हैं तो हमारे सामने कई "क्यों " खड़े जाते हैं जिनका जवाब हमारे पास नहीं होता। और इस क्यों से एक लम्बा युद्ध शुरू होता है. हम सचिन की मजबूरी का अंदाज़ा इस बात से लगा सकते हैं कि वो सुसाइड नोट में लिखता है " मैं नीरू (पत्नी ) से बहुत प्यार करता हूँ, उसे कुछ न किया जाये। "   यह सिस्टम से हारे हुए आदमी की आखिरी आवाज़ है , उसे लगता है और युद्ध

इतना सन्नाटा क्यों है ?

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/jaipur/Women-named-in-dowry-harassment-jump-before-train/articleshow/20950626.cms http://epaper.jagran.com/ePaperArticle/08-jul-2013-edition-LUCKNOW-page_11-82471-4809-11.html मैं इंतज़ार करती रही की इन दो खबरों पर किसी महिला संघठन  की कोई प्रतिक्रिया आएगी। कोई महिला संघठन इनके लिए भी न्याय मांगेगा , किसी को तो इनके लिए मोमबत्ती जलाने की याद आयेगी । लेकिन  हुआ नहीं क्योंकि महिला संगठनों की नज़र में यह महिला हैं ही नहीं। उनके लिए महिला वो हैं, जिन्होंने इनकी मृत्यु में योगदान दिया , इनको मर जाने पे मजबूर किया।                 दोनों समाचारों में एक चीज़ है जो समान है वो है , महिलाओं की मृत्यु वो भी आत्महत्या। ऐसी आत्महत्या पर आमतौर पर महिला संघठन बहुत हाय तौबा मचाते हैं। जहाँ बात आत्महत्या के लिए उकसाने की हो तब तो मामला इतना उछाला जाता है कि पूरा देश एकमत हो जाता है। यहाँ क्या हो गया, महिला भी है आत्महत्या भी है फिर इतना सन्नाटा क्यों है ? किन महिलाओं की  रक्षा के लिए बने हैं यह महिला संघठन वो जो अपराधी है , वो जिनके एक झूठ पर पूरा परिवार गिर

what went wrong with empowerment

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/nagpur/Cops-son-ends-life-over-alleged-sexual-harassment-by-woman/articleshow/20547687.cms http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/gurgaon/Gang-rape-victim-retracts-statement/articleshow/20499926.cms http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/delhi/Rape-accused-freed-girl-faces-perjury/articleshow/20402260.cms  All these news items are very disturbing where women are falsely accusing men for rape . Rape which is considered a heinous crime and women are lying for it . Laws against these crimes were made to stop this crime but where is the crime ? There are some falsely accused men and their dignity http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-03-11/india/37622494_1_diagnostic-centre-mayapuri-jail-term  or do we think that man does not have a dignity ?  When a man is falsely accused there are others in the family too ,whose dignity is at stake . So what exactly went wrong with the empowerment of women ? Why all empowered women are using laws a

MEETING WITH A SENIOR POLICE OFFICER

It was a burning  afternoon of May when we three women  ( Me , Deepika Bhardwaj , Nupur Bhutani) decided to meet a senior police officer . The purpose was to tell him about the arrests in 498a cases . Question can be asked does nt he know about the arrests ? Yes he do but when you talk to someone in person it gives a different impact .                                                                  So we were at the police headquarters . After all checking and formalities we were at the office of police officer. This senior police officer was a very jovial natured man , didn't get any air that we are sitting with a senior police officer. When three young women go to a police officer it means they will talk about pleas of women . But this police officer was so surprised to know that we came to talk about men . He told us clearly in the beginning that his chair does nt allow him to speak anything against women.  He said he will give all politically correct statements so its of no

The Great Rape Of India

December 16, 2012 came with a big incident which shook the whole world . The so called Nirbahaya rape case became news overnight . All the TV channels , newspapers were filled with Nirbhaya . People were so emotionally involved with this news that every other news was irrelevant for them . You say a word about Nirbhaya , you were thrashed . The outrage about Nirbhaya ignored the news where a wife cut her husband into seventeen pieces  . There was an atmosphere of fear and terror  , rape was bigger than Chinese invasion and Pakistani infiltration .                                                                       The incidents after the so called rape were more surprising . The way this rape was described raised many questions . Many rapes happened before it and after it , why this particular rape was given so much importance ? Why the boyfriend appeared before media after twelve days ? Why was medical report was not revealed in media which tells some other story ? And the biggest

पुरुष विद्वेष समाज के लिए घातक क्यों ?

( http://legalfighter.wordpress.com/2013/05/01/why-misandry-male-hatred-is-dangerous-for-the-society/  से अनुवादित ) वर्तमान में पुरुष अधिकार आन्दोलन के सामने जो मुख्य समस्याएं है वो है , पुरुष सम्बंधित , विषयों , समस्याओ और अधिकारों के बारे में जागरूकता न होना। पुरुष अधिकारों का मर्म , सामाजिक मानसिकता से पुरुष विद्वेष का उन्मूलन है। हमारी वर्तमान मानसिकता पुरुषों को बहुत ज्यादा जांचती परखती है। यह पुरुषों पर अपेक्षाओं का भारी बोझ डाल देती है तथा उन्हें बहुत कम स्वीकार्यता प्रदान करती है। निम्न कथन से यह बात साबित होती है - " पुरुष से अपेक्षा की कोई सीमा नहीं है और पुरुष की परिसीमा की स्वीकार्यता नहीं होती " यह मानसिकता पुरुषों के शातिपूर्ण अस्तित्व के लिए घातक है तथा पुरुष समाज पर हिंसक होने के लिए दबाव डालता है। विडंबना तब होती है जब इस हिंसा के लिए पुरुष को ही दोषी माना जाता है। यह भूलकर की सामाजिक संरचना ने ही पुरुष को रक्षक की हिंसक भूमिका प्रदान की है। यदि हम हिंसा समाप्त करना चाहते हैं तो हमे पुरुष की रक्षक भूमिका से हटाकर सोचना होगा।
पुरुष बनाम मर्द 

पुरुष बनाम मर्द

माँ की गोद में खेलता छोटा लड़का यह नहीं जानता कि उसे कितनी बड़ी जंग के लिए तैयार किया जा रहा है। ऐसी जंग जो पुरुष होने के बावजूद उसे मर्द बनने के लिए बाध्य करती है। देखने में लगता है यह तो एक ही शब्द है, लेकिन नहीं दोनों में ज़मीन -आसमान का फर्क है। पुरुष तो कोई भी जन्म से हो सकता पर मर्द बनने के लिए उसे कई कसौटियां पर करनी पड़ती है। फिर चाहे वो इस कसौटी को पार करना चाहे या नहीं। पुरुष पर इस बात का दबाव रहता है की वो मर्द बने। उसे रोने का हक नहीं वरना वो मर्द नहीं रहेगा , उसे रक्षा करनी है वरना वो मर्द नहीं है। रक्षा करते हुए शहीद हो जाना सच्चे मर्द की निशानी है।                                                                 हम रोज़ देखते हैं की पुरुष को तरह तरह की हिदायतें दी जाती है महिला की रक्षा करो , महिला का सम्मान करो इत्यादि । यह सब पुरुष नहीं मर्द से अपेक्षित है। और इस मर्दानगी को साबित करने के लिए पुरुष तरह तरह के उपक्रम करता है। हिंसा , रक्तपात , दुह्साहस करना यह सब उसी मर्दानगी को साबित करने के लिए किया जाता है। मर्दानगी जो जन्मजात नहीं है, बल्कि कमाई जाती है। मगर क्या होता ज

RIP Brothers

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13 April , 2013 About hundred plus people gathered opposite police headquarters , ITO in New Delhi . They had candles , pictures of martyrs of marriage and banners in hand . Who are these people and why are they here ? These people are normal law abiding citizens who are made criminal by one or more biased laws.                                              They know what Manoj , Prashant and many more fighting with biased system must have gone through before ending their lives . All of them have experienced this at one or the other point of time . Some of them survived that time and some of them succumb . Those who succumb are not failures , they are martyrs , martyrs of marriage .                                                                       Our procession started about 6.45 p.m. from police headquarters . People were of all age groups old , young , men , women ,children . People were full of emotions , some of them actually crying . Tears were paying homage to martyrs . Tr

और कितने शहीद ?

बुधवार की आम सुबह थी, जब बैंगलोर एक कटु घटना के साथ जागा . ३६ वर्षीय नौजवान ने  अपनी पत्नी के अत्याचार से तंग आकर आत्महत्या कर ली . अपने पीछे वह अपने एक वर्षीय पुत्र , अपनी वृद्ध माँ  , दो विवाहित भाइयों को छोड़ गया . साथ ही एक सुसाइड नोट जिसमें उसने अपनी पत्नी और सास को इस कठोर कदम का दोषी बताया है . पेशे से तकनीशियन मनोज कुमार ओरेकल के लिए काम करता था और  उसकी पत्नी प्रमिला भारत इलेक्ट्रिक में काम करती थी .                                                        मनोज की शादी कलह पूर्ण थी , पत्नी के लगातार अत्याचारों ने उसे परिवार से अलग रहने को मजबूर कर दिया था . उसकी दहेज़ का केस करने की धमकी के चलते मनोज ने यह कदम उठाया साथ ही 8  अप्रैल की दुर्भाग्यपूर्ण रात को  मरने से पहेले अपनी टी शर्ट पर" सॉरी बेटा" लिखा . यह सब उसकी पत्नी की प्रताड़ना के बाद हुआ जिसमें प्रमिला ने मनोज के भाई को हेलमेट से मारा , माँ को मारने  की कोशिश की , पूरे परिवार को दहेज़ के झूठे मुक़दमे में फंसाकर जेल भेजने की धमकी दी .                                                        मनोज अकेला पीड़ित नहीं है

PAIN OF BEING FORGOTTEN

Marriage at the age of twenty four and a half and making a new family yours is a big task . It was accomplished successfully and life was going on smoothly . When a new family is yours , you alomst forget the old one . That is what girls were taught a few years back .                                                Nothing is perfect in this world so was not the new family but efforts were making it perfect .Then came the turmoil another entry in old family brought it . Turmoil gave new meaning of liberation . Here liberation meant no responsibility only rights . Rights to do anything without questions . This turmoil didnt know that somebody's liberation ends with someone else's liberation . When your liberty makes other person uncomfortable that is not liberty thats harrassment . The so called liberty questioned many things in the old as well as new family . Whole life came upside down . And had to return to the old family .                                                Of

ek naya safar

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          ऐसे ही तो नहीं गए होगे सुना मैंने की तुम सबसे आखिर में गए बहुत कोशिश की   होगी  तुमने जीने की सोचा तो होगा जाते वक़्त कैसे लड़ेंगे सब इस इलज़ाम से मैं जाऊंगा तो सब बिखर जायेगा वो माँ जिसने कहा था सौ साल जीना और लड़ना क्या होगा उसका, वो बहन ज्सिने कहा था भाई साथ में है घबराना मत वो पिता जो कुछ बोलता नहीं पर जानता है सहारा हूँ मैं उसका सब सोचा होगा और फिर जीने की कोशिश की होगी लड़े होगे मौत से बहादुरी से ,पर तुमको जाना पड़ा क्योंकि सफ़र ख़तम था तुम्हारा और थी एक नयी शुरुआत एक शुरुआत जिसने दिए नए अर्थ जीवन के , जीने का जज़बा हौसला लड़ने का जीतने का 

To whom it may concern

My Dear Legal Terrorist ,                                            Today i would like to thank you for many things . You came in my life like an innocent human being , i never had any doubt about your intentions . Everybody praised you for being humble and polite . Everyone compared me with you , how loud iam and how polite you are .  So, thank you for breaking this notion that a woman who is soft spoken is good .                                      You were in love and that too, so much that cared more than us . A cut in his finger was painful for you , a 99 degree fever was a big issue for you . Thank you for making  me  realise that love can vanish overnight . Because death was not at all painful for you . You were such a good actor . Your acting made us feel that you were actually victim . Thank you for making me realise that acting can make innocent people criminal overnight .                                                               You made small issues big overnight

अगर संजय को माफ़ी मिलती है तो ..................

बहुत से तर्क दिए गए हैं उनको बचाने के लिए . पहला तर्क यह की वो समझदार नहीं थे . यदि तेंतीस की आयु में कोई समझदार न हो तो क्या  किया जाये . इतना नासमझ की उसे यह न समझ आये की जिससे वो मिलने जा रहा है वो आतंकवादी हैं . इतना नासमझ की AK 56 को खिलौना समझ ले और घर में रख ले. येही नहीं उसके पास हैण्ड ग्रेनेड़ निकलें , इतना नासमझ वो भी 33 की आयु में .                                                    दूसरा तर्क यह की उनको अपनी सुरक्षा का डर था . वो कोई आम आदमी तो है नहीं उनके एक इशारे पर न जाने कितनी सुरक्षा उपलब्ध हो जाती .  यह तर्क भी कुछ हजम नहीं हुआ .  फिर भी हर तरफ उनको माफ़ी देने का  शोर है .  सबको  सहानुभूति है उनसे , वो बिचारा बन चुके है।                                                     तो फिर हमने क्या किया है   दहेज़ लेने का इलज़ाम ही तो है , घरेलू हिंसा का भी  सिर्फ  आरोप भर है . जिसने आरोप लगाया वो बिलकुल  ठीक ठाक है . इस इलज़ाम  लगने से कहीं कोई बम धमाका नहीं हुआ न ही लोग  मारे गए तो क्यों  न   हम सबको  सामूहिक रूप  से माफ़ कर दिया जाये . हम पर भी  जब आरोंप लगा तो हम सब भी  नासम

GANG RAPE SELLS

Today's newspapaer reports a gang rape in patiala house court premises . Woman says she is gang raped by husband , lawyer and husband's friends . I wonder how every rape is gang rape now and that too on court premises hard to believe . But newspaper made it front page story because gang rape sells now. The burden of proof is obviously on man and when he is prooved innocent what about his dignity ? A few days back a man asked to return his dignity from court but a man does not have dignity in this country .                                  Whenever we debate on biased laws we are told not to cite any single example . Here we see a whole new amendment is made on one single incident . A few days ago a man committed suicide because of false allegations of rape on him (Indore ). But no how does it matter to all you so called women activists ? Next time again you will say where is the misuse ? All laws are misused so what if 498a is the most misused one. It is difficult to wake up

MY BODY, MY CHOICE

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I dont know why iam remembering Rakhi so much today , may be because that was the last rakhi we celebrated together ( me and Anurag ) . In year 2010 , I was in last month of my second pregnancy . Doctor advised me not to travel at this time . So i called Anurag and said i shall not be able to come for Rakhi . He said "who told you to come , i will come deedz . " I advised him not to come as trains are  packed at the time of festivals . He said he will come by bus , i tried to stop him as bus journey is very hectic . I said let it be next year dont trouble yourself , he said there is no next year . How right he was .            He travelled in a volvo bus from Lucknow to Noida , it took him 22 hours . He could not make it on Rakhi day but he reached . He was so tired that he said want to sleep first then tie rakhi . I said o k , he slept in my lap only  . My little son laughed on his mamu . When he woke up  he said," lets play Rakhi Rakhi now." i tied Rakhi and he

WOMEN LIAR LIAR FORUM

I participated in a women liar forum . The chief guest was a well known woman judge of supreme court and other members were a former soliciter general of India , a Padma vibhushan kathak dancer ,a former attorney general , a a chairperson of some orgainsation and a treasurer . Topic, the famous and the favorite " strengthening law to fight crime against women . "                                                  Honourable solicitor general started , here i would like to mention he was a magician of words and spoke with chewed words. He discussed child trafficking (only girl child) gave an example of a girl how she was rescued and sent back to the parents who sold her . He said when a woman is kicked out of house where she should go ? Nari niketan and working women hostel are also not safe. I really wanted to ask where should a man go when he is kicked out of his own house ? Another example by Ex Soliciter general that there is place called Apna Ghar in Rohtak , a woman runs

MY TRUTHS , HER LIES

My entry gave her an uncomfortable feeling , i was late but truth makes a mark. ON SHOOT : Marital rape is not needed i said because it is already covered in domestic violence , she deined it .  I said DV act sec3(ii) Covers it all. My question who will decide who raped whom in a closed bedroom , she said court . My answer bedroom will be taken into court then where will the institution of marriage go , no answer. She is not botherd about marriage .       She says so many women die every year my answer more than 60,000 married men commit suicide , she says iam talking about farmers suicides !!!! She says there are very less cases of misuse , my answer 98% are false . OFF SHOOT : She said my data of male suicide is wrong , i said i got this data from NCRB , she says it is not relaible . I asked her politely what you bring is reliable and whatever i bring is unreliable , no answer. She says you know women like you ( she didnt know that she is talking to an MRA) are burnt for dowry

yes, iam a harassed woman

Sneha Mitra was annoyed by her husband's voice . He was waking her up as he was leaving for office in a few minutes . Sneha said coldly "listen iam not in habit of waking up so early in the morning ."              "Early its nine o clock darling , lets have a cup of tea together." her husband said . "Please you have it and leave i will have whenever i ll want" were Sneha's words .        "What the hell is this " husband muttered and left for the office . When he returned house was messed up and sneha was talking to some friend on phone . This became the routine and arguments started between them . One day Sneha was watching TV where a serial said its not easy to be housewife , she sighed and agreed . She realised how harassed she is , waking up early morning making tea doing all house hold chores , why should she do it ? She is not a maid , while husband enjoys out.             Sneha is an aware woman , she took help of internet how t

Men are to here to protect and die .

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 This is capt saurabh kalia , who fought kargil war in 1999 and laid his life for his country . In a war you always assume people will die so it is not such a big deal . Surprisingly men do the dying part but as we assume that men are born to protect and die , so this does not really surprise us .                                    War deaths are no surprise but if the death is brutal and inhuman then? This brave soldier was badly treated by Pakistani troops . He was a 22 year old brave soldier who was encirled by pakistani rangers when ran out of ammunition. Capt kalia and five of his men were brutally tortured by pakistanis . Postmortem reports revealed that Pakistan army had tortured their prisoners by burning their bodies with cigarettes, piercing ear-drums with hot rods, puncturing eyes before removing them, breaking most of the teeth and bones, fractures of the skull, cutting the lips, chipping of nose, chopping off limbs and private organs of these soldiers besides inflicting